There's nothing like being asked..............

I started searching my computer today for "before" pictures........I didn't actually take any purposefully because I was scared I wouldn't see any improvement and I just couldn't bear to not look any better than my "before" pictures.Also, there have been lots and lots of "befores" in my life.

 I think back to all the healthy attempts I made to eat better and to exercise. The first one after the birth of my oldest son was SugarBusters and joining the local Curves. From there, I went on to try the Atkin's diet. Next was Biometrics at the Y--now THAT one really worked, but I didn't stick with it, so the pounds poured on. Then my youngest son was born, and I went to the South Beach diet. I did Biometrics again, but with poor results. I just gave up. I thought if I am going to continue to weigh this much, I might as well eat what I want! Well, that didn't work so well, because I gained so much weight clothes wouldn't fit. I refused to go to the "other" side of the store for the clothes with a W behind the size. I always thought that meant "wide", but my mama corrected me and told me it was for "woman"!!! I went to a diet doctor in the next largest city close to our little town who specializes in bariatrics and he would prescribe appetite suppressants and give you a vitamin B6/B12 shot combined, and you could buy high protein, low carb food from him. There was accountability involved--keeping a food and fitness diary and weighing in once a week. If the office was in my town, I would have kept seeing him, but it was out of town by 35 minutes, and once school started, I just didn't have time to drive the distance weekly. The most I ever lost seeing him the 3 times that I tried was 20 pounds.

 I remember feeling so disheartened that I deprived myself and saw no results. Instead of getting out and walking or going to the gym, I would just EAT and EAT and EAT."I'll show you, body!!! Take those Oreos...and take these crackers! Yeah, you wanna piece of chocolate? "  (Envision me vs. the pantry with boxing gloves.....) I ate due to stress, boredom, anger, frustration, while watching TV, while reading.....I really didn't need a reason to eat. Forget the fact that I might actually be hungry. Oops, forgot to mention I did Weight Watchers...about 4 different times. I gave up on that, too. I wish I had all the money back that I have spent over the years on diets and exercises. It's probably enough to outfit myself with a home gym.

Here are two before pictures--fully clothed. I won't show any with skin showing because this is a family friendly blog and I wouldn't want to scar anyone for life.

The first picture is February 2011 and the bottom picture is from May 2011. I remember being asked several times when I was due. NOTHING will make a woman who struggles with weight angrier than being asked this question. My first thought was to ask them what day were they scheduled for plastic surgery, but I refrained. Reality check--when more than one meanie asks you for a due date, then you MUST look pregnant. And if you aren't, then it means you look like you are about to POP! And you need to GET OFF THE COUCH and out of the chip bag and MOVE!!!! I'm one to talk....because I never did any exercise. Three little words motivated me...fatty liver disease. I made the mistake of looking it up on Web MD....next thing I figured is I would be on a transplant list and in the hospital. NEVER look up medical information on the internet. I have learned this the hard way.

 The downside of losing weight is that people think something is wrong with you...that you are sick. Now that's a heck of a note. You're either with child or ill with a dreadful disease.... Someone asked me at church the other day "Are you okay? I'm really worried about you." I'm not sure if it's due to weight loss or because Steven and I got to laughing so hard that I had tears coming out of my eyes and had to run out and get tissue before all my make-up came off. I'll post some after pictures soon--and you will see that I am not about to dry up and blow away....not hardly.